


An Unhealthy Routine

by AllTimePhan73



Series: Voltron Short Stories [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Eating Disorders, Friends to Lovers, Insecure Lance (Voltron), Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Rivalry, Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-01-16 14:26:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18523393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllTimePhan73/pseuds/AllTimePhan73
Summary: It started off slowly; so much so that it took a long time for Lance to even notice. Being so busy with protecting the universe, eating got pushed to the bottom of his list of priorities.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm only posting this so it doesn't get deleted from my drafts... enjoy :)

It started off slowly; so much so that it took a long time for Lance to even notice. Being so busy with protecting the universe, eating got pushed to the bottom of his list of priorities. The others managed to keep their eating schedules consistent but Lance had better things to do. He wasn’t as strong as the other paladins so he needed to spend longer on training. Lance had noticed that Keith didn’t sleep much and wondered if Keith had noticed his eating schedule or, rather, lack of.

Breakfast was easy to skip. The entire ship had already deemed Lance as lazy so it was easy to convince them that he slept in late and missed breakfast all the time. Lunch was equally as easy because people often fended for themselves at that time. Lance had slowly memorised what times the others seemed to have lunch which meant he could come up with a lie about the time he had eaten. Then there was dinner. Dinner wasn’t so simple.

They _always_ ate together. They gathered around the table in the kitchen, bowls of whatever food Hunk had attempted to cook spread across the table. Each paladin took their turns, piling the meal onto their plates. Lance would go last and only spoon small piles of food onto his plate. Then he would direct any attention away from his own food by asking the other paladins stupid questions. They’d always ask him to shut up but he’d continue pestering them whilst pushing the food around his plate. 

Keith was usually the first person to finish. He would quietly thank Hunk for the meal before washing his plate up in the sink and putting it away. He’d then dart out of the room, presumably to train until everyone on the ship had fallen asleep. Shiro and Pidge finished around the same time and Shiro would clean up both of their plates, being the selfless guy he was. That left Hunk and Lance. Distracting him was straightforward. All Lance would need to do was bring up something from earth and Hunk could talk for hours. It was almost endearing. Once Hunk finished up, Lance would offer to clean his plate. After some persuasion, Hunk would agree and flee to his room. Then, Lance would be left alone to throw all of his food into the bin. He’d wash up the plates before making his way back to his room.

It had almost become a routine. Maybe Lance had taken it too far when he had learnt everyone’s eating schedules but it was too late to turn back. So he continued to skip meals, as if the hunger was a drug he was addicted to.

No one seemed suspicious for a long while until, one day, Lance wasn’t feeling at his best. He was sparring with Keith which was already hard enough, even without the nausea and dizziness Lance was feeling. Despite every muscle in Lance’s body screaming at him not to fight, he fought. With more important things on his mind, Lance forgot to get into the stance Shiro had taught him with his feet shoulder width apart and raised fists. Keith, being _Keith,_ was already in the position so, when the countdown hit one, it was clear who was going to come out victorious. 

Lance thought he was going to puke. His stomach was cramping up and his head was spinning as if he was a kid back on a roundabout at the park. He didn’t make an effort to move, just blinking rapidly in attempt to focus on the real world. Keith’s figure charging towards him was a blurry blob. Before Keith could get a single hit in, Lance doubled over with his eyes scrunched shut. He was breathing heavily as he waited for the cramps to pass. He didn’t even realise the fight had been stopped until the other paladins surrounded him. People were speaking but he was struggling to match the voices to the speakers. Someone wrapped an arm around his side and guided him towards the benches were he was able to sit down.

The worst of it soon passed and Lance was back to wearily staring at his fellow paladins. Keith was sat so close to him that their thighs were touching and his concerned expression matched that of the other paladins. It didn’t make sense, considering Keith hated his guts. “How are you feeling? Do you need a pod?” Allura began to question before Lance could delve too deep into thinking about his and Keith’s rivalry.

“No, I’m fine.” Lance murmured, staring down at his lap. All of a sudden, his armour felt like it was made of lead and all he wanted to do was remove it so that he could breathe again. 

“You looked like you were going to pass out.” Keith chipped in, chewing on his bottom lip.

“It was just a cramp. I think I might be getting sick or something…”

“The pods can assess you. I think it’s best if you-” Allura began to suggest but Lance cut her off with desperation in his tone.

“No, no, no. I’m sure I’ll feel better after some rest.”

“Are you sure? It looked really-”

“Yeah, yeah. I didn’t mean to worry you.” Before anyone else could ask any more questions, Lance stood up on shaky legs and darted out of the training room. 

-

“How’re you feeling, buddy? I brought you some soup.” Hunk said as he walked into Lance’s room. He was holding a bowl filled up with a dark brown liquid and an Altean spoon.

“I feel a lot better.” Lance forced himself up into a sitting position so there was space for Hunk to sit by his feet. Hunk held the bowl out for Lance to take but he just shook his head. “I’m not very hungry at the moment.”

“Come on, buddy. It might make you feel better.” Hunk’s eyebrows raised and he stuck out his bottom lip into a pout so that Lance was unable to say no. He wrapped his skinny hands around the bowl and placed it on his lap. He then took the spoon before dipping it into the soup. His hope was that Hunk wouldn’t watch him eat and he would be able to dump it into the bin once he left. Sadly, Hunk stayed in the room. Lance winced as he lifted the spoon to his mouth and sipped at the soup. It tasted wonderful but, regardless of how tasty it was, it still made Lance feel nauseated.

“It’s really good. What did you put in it?”

“Just some stuff I picked up on a planet where we stopped off.”

“Thank you.” Lance consumed some more of the soup, watching Hunk out of the corner of his eye the entire time. He was eating as slowly as possible with the hope that Hunk would get bored and leave him alone. After he had made it through a few more spoonfuls and Hunk had stayed put, Lance gave up and placed the bowl on his bedside table. “I feel a bit nauseous.” Lance’s face _had_ gone slightly green and his stomach was cramping up all over again. He scrunched his eyes shut and let out a groan whilst he hugged himself.

“Quiznack… Do you need a bucket? I can get you a bucket? Lance, are you-”

“No, no, I’m fine. I just- I don’t think I should eat anymore.”

“Okay, buddy. I’ll leave you alone so that you can get some more rest. I hope you feel better soon.”

“Thank you. You’re the best.” Hunk smiled softly before picking up the bowl and leaving Lance alone. 

-

A few days passed before Lance left his room. He wasn’t feeling much better but he had managed to convince Hunk that he was cured. Hunk had been (practically) force feeding Lance so he was full of soup and had more energy than he had had in awhile. He headed to training in his armour, greeting the paladins as he walked into the room. “Lance, shouldn’t you be resting?” Allura asked, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“I’m feeling much better, thank you, Allura. I know you’re worried because you love me and all but I’m stronger than you think.” Lance grinned widely to show off his teeth, sending finger guns in Allura’s direction. He watched Keith roll his eyes and fold his arms in irritation.

“Yeah, he’s definitely feeling better because he’s flirting again.” Keith muttered, eliciting a loud laugh from Lance.

“Are you jealous, mullet?” Lance jabbed Keith in the ribs but Keith didn’t smile; his lips didn’t even quirk up in the slightest. 

Luckily, Lance was able to get through training without getting close to fainting. He didn’t seem to be fighting as well but everyone blamed that on the fact that he hadn’t trained in a few days. They were about to head to the showers but Keith grabbed Lance’s arm and forced him to a halt. He couldn’t help but notice just how _thin_ Lance’s wrist was. It was like a stick. 

“What do you want, mullet? Can’t stand being apart from me for more than-”

“Lance, you’re still sick.” Keith kept his voice low and didn’t remove his hands from Lance’s arm: he was scared Lance was going to run away. “You look like you’re pain all the time and your reaction times aren’t the same. You used to be really quick but you seem so… _slow_ now. It’s like you don’t have any energy or something. Something must be wrong.”

Lance smiled at Keith’s concern for him but continued to brush it off. “You don’t need to worry about me, mullet.”

“But I do worry, Lance. We don’t know what kind of space illnesses are out here so we need to be careful. We don’t know what our bodies can take and I just want you to be okay. Maybe you should get checked over by the pod. Just… Just for reassurance.”

“I’m fine.” Lance turned around to leave the room but opened his mouth to ask one more question. “Why are you so worried anyway? I thought we were rivals.”

“You’re the one who came up with that. I don’t hate you or anything and I really don’t want to lose someone else.”

“You won’t.”

-

Lance continued with his routine, though he made sure he ate enough to survive. His energy continued to deteriorate but the other paladins were yet to notice- or so he hoped. Lance was alone in the kitchen, scraping his dinner into the bin when Keith appeared in the doorway. Freezing in his actions, he tried his best to formulate an excuse. “Space food isn’t as good as earth food. The meal today tasted like trash.” Lance laughed before adding, “And that wasn’t Hunk’s fault. He’s a good chef.”

“I thought it tasted fine but I lived off of trash on earth too. I wouldn’t notice any difference.” Keith smirked as he wandered further into the room. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“You going to ask me out, mullet? I knew you always had the hots for me.”

“No, Lance, please don’t joke around. This is serious.”

“Oh.” Lance turned around so that he could drink Keith in. His expression of scrunched up eyebrows and a look of distance in his eyes suggested that something was bothering him. It just didn’t make sense that he came to _Lance_ of all people. “Look, man, if you want advice, I’m sure Shiro will be around to talk.”

“It’s about you.” Lance tensed up and his breath hitched. “You aren’t eating properly.”

“What are you on about, Keith? I eat just fine.” Lance laughed in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere but he was clearly nervous.

“Don’t give me that bullshit. You’re never at breakfast and I’ve watched you get rid of your food for the last few nights. I was going to approach you after the first time but I thought it might’ve been a one off… Why don’t you eat, Lance?”

“I- I don’t-” Lance backed up, eyes glancing at the doorway as he wondered whether he had time to flee. Keith must have followed his gaze because he moved until he was barricading the door.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.. if you haven’t done that already.”

“Keith, I’m fine.”

“Stop denying it! I can’t just stand by and watch you waste away!” Keith clenched his hands into fists at his sides as his body began to quiver. He had his eyes scrunched shut and a tear was trailing down his pale cheek. “I don’t want to lose you, Lance. You need food, your- your body needs it to survive.”

“I know but I’ve got it under control. I promise. There’s no need to worry, mullet.” Lance forced a smile but it just made Keith even angrier. 

“Don’t say that! You’re going to take it too far and then I’m going to-” Keith’s breath hitched before he hunched over and let out a sob. Lance’s eyes thinned because _he had never seen Keith cry before_. “I’m going to lose you too.”

“You won’t lose me. I’m not trying to kill myself. I’ve just… I need to lose weight. I need to train harder.”

“But when will you stop? How much weight do you want to lose? How much do you want to push yourself in training? Until you can’t take it anymore?”

“I don’t know.” Lance’s voice was tiny; almost as if he was ashamed.

“Will you just keep skipping meals and training too hard until you pass out one day and we can’t wake you up?”

“I don’t know!” Lance’s raised voice caught Keith off guard. “I don’t know, okay? I know I’m not good enough and I’m the worst paladin! I need to be better and prove myself! If it means working a bit harder then so be it!”

“You aren’t the worst paladin, Lance… We’ve all got our strengths. Shiro leads, I’m good at close combat, Pidge is amazing with technology and Hunk’s the best engineer. Your shooting and long distance skills are much better than the rest of ours.” Lance shrugged, diverting his gaze down at his feet. “You should have told us how you felt…”

“I didn’t want to burden you…”

“You wouldn’t burden us. We love you, Lance. We’d do anything to ensure you were okay because you’re one of our paladins and we need you.”

“You don’t need me.”

“I do.”

“But- But I’m just Lance. You would easily be able to replace me with someone better…”

“No, Lance. We could never find anyone as funny, selfless and awesome as you.”

“Aw, mullet.” A smile formed on Lance’s face as he finally met eyes with Keith. “You’re making it sound like you love me or something.” Keith smiled but it was extremely wobbly- as if it was forced. Before Lance could push the joke further, Shiro walked into the kitchen.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you both everywhere! Allura said we deserved a break so we’re all playing some video games. Do you want to join?”


	2. Chapter 2

Keith seemed to follow Lance around a lot. He was always there to force Lance to breakfast and he stayed with him at dinner until he had at least eaten something. Lance simultaneously hated and loved it. Keith was always there to encourage Lance to eat more and then help distract him when he felt nauseated. It got to the point that Lance saw himself as a hindrance to the red paladin.

One day, a few weeks after Keith had found out about Lance’s eating issues, Lance had shown up at the door of Keith’s bedroom. He knocked, a sob prematurely forming in the base of his throat. He swallowed as an attempt to ignore it. The door swung open and Lance walked into the room. “Everything okay?” Keith glanced up from where he was sitting on his bed. The glistening in his eyes was full of worry.

“I think it’s best for the team if I step down.” Lance started, taking a deep breath. Keith opened his mouth but Lance cut him off before he could say anything. “Let me finish… I’m a massive burden at the moment because I need to… sort myself out, I guess. You’re in the middle of it, trying to help me whilst training so that you can defend the universe. It must be hard for you. Maybe I should… focus on getting better myself instead of dragging you down with me.”

“Lance… you don’t need to do that.” Keith pulled himself onto his feet and stepped towards Lance. “I agree that it may be a good idea for you to focus on getting better, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to step down. Sure, you can take a break from training for a while but we are not going to replace you. You aren’t burdening me either. I want to help you and I can manage my time on my own, okay?”

Lance hung his head so that his hair fell over his eyes. “But-”

“No buts. I think we should tell the others though.”

“What? No!” Lance yelled, eyes wide and full of fear. “We can’t! They’ll- They-”

“They won’t hate you or whatever you’re thinking. They love you, Lance. They’re your best friends and I don’t see why they would dislike you over something like this.”

“I can’t-”

“I’ll tell them, if you’d prefer?” Lance chose against saying anything and just nodded. Keith then wrapped his arms around Lance, pulling him closer until he was crying into Keith’s chest. “It’s going to be okay, I promise you.” If you asked Lance just a few months ago whether he would ever hug Keith, he would have laughed in your face. Things had changed so quickly.

-

“We have something we need to talk to you about.” Keith started, keeping an arm around Lance’s waist as a discreet way of supporting him.

“Finally! We all knew you would end up dating eventually!” Pidge yelled from where they were sat on one of the chairs, punching the air in excitement. Hunk started to laugh but he stopped after hearing what Keith had to say next.

“No, no, Pidge… It’s something else and it’s serious. I need you to listen.” Keith’s red cheeks went unnoticed as he continued with everyone’s concerned eyes fixed on him. “Lance has been having some trouble with his eating lately. I don’t know if any of you have noticed but he got himself into a bit of a… ritual, I guess. He skipped breakfast and lunch and he would throw his dinner away. I caught him a few weeks ago and confronted him about it… I’ve been helping him but we decided that you needed to know, as his friends and fellow paladins.”

Lance stayed silent beside Keith, keeping his gaze fixed on his feet. He only looked up once the other paladins began to speak. “Lance, I’m so sorry. I should have noticed, as your leader. I’m glad that Keith could have been there for you.” Shiro said as he got up onto his feet. He smiled softly before lying a hand on top of Lance’s shoulder. Soon enough, Lance was being wrapped in a group hug. It was in that moment that he realised: _he wasn’t a burden; his friends loved him._

Things wouldn’t be easy and they all knew it. The road ahead was bumpy and it was going to take time but they could get to the end together.

Lance could hear Hunk sniffing and feel Pidge’s head buried into his chest. Shiro’s hand felt heavy on his shoulder and Allura was running her hands through his hair in a soothing way. He could hear Coran quietly mumbling something about how he was going to _look after him_ and Keith had stepped away from the group. He was observing them closely with a proud smile on his face. A minute passed before Shiro grabbed Keith’s arm and pulled him into the hug too.

-

Later that night, Keith and Lance were sat around the dinner table. After being reassured Keith would help Lance eat, the others had left to do their own things. Lance was thankful that they didn’t all watch him because, if anything, that was likely to make it even harder for him to eat. “I’m sorry you have to sit with me whilst I eat all the time…” Lance murmured as he raised the piece of Altean cutlery to his lips. The food tasted salty on his tongue but he had learnt to love it.

“It’s alright. I don’t mind if it means you eat.” Keith didn’t miss the redness spreading across Lance’s cheeks.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me that you care so much. You know, after we met, I thought you hated me.”

“I never hated you,” Keith admitted, refusing to meet Lance’s eyes. “If anything, I liked you _too_ much.”

Lance furrowed his eyebrows to represent his confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing… nothing.”

“No, you have to tell me now!”

“I just… I liked you.”

Lance leaned his head forward and thinned his eyes. “Yeah but you said too much. What does that mean?”

“You’re so stupid sometimes,” Keith hit his face with the palm of his hand as he shook his head. “I had feelings for you.”

“You what?”

“Do I need to spell it out to you?"

“No, no, I got it,” Lance stared into his meal with flushed cheeks. “You don’t anymore, right?” 

Keith’s mouth open and closed again a few times before any words actually escaped. “What if I did?”

“You do?”

“Hypothetically, if I did… What would you say?”

“Uh… I guess- I don’t know!”

“Eat your food, Lance.” 

Lance glared down at his meal as if it had murdered his entire family. He stabbed a piece with his fork, shoving it into his mouth. “Are you telling me you don’t like me?” He asked with a mouthful of the food. It was the most unattractive thing in the world but, still, somehow attractive because it was _Lance._

“I never said that-”

“So you do?”

“I never said that either-”

“Keith!” Lance dragged out the first syllable of the name and stuck out his bottom lip in the form of a pout. “Just answer the question.”

“Okay, maybe I still like you but I swear I won’t let it get in the way of-” 

“What the heck?” Lance shoved his plate out of the way as he found priority elsewhere. He had eaten most of the food anyway so he didn’t see a problem with ignoring what was left. “You’re telling me that you, Keith Kogane, like me, Lance McClain?” 

“Yeah, I said that. Don’t seem so shocked.”

“I am shocked! You’re so hot and cool and edgy! You’re awesome! I’m just boring and-”

“You aren’t boring. You’re smart and funny and adorable and attractive and-” Lance cut Keith off by grabbing the collar of his jacket and pulling him forward. Their lips touched. Keith’s lips were chapped whilst Lance’s were soft, contrasting each other as much as dark contrasted light.  

“I like you too.”

“What?”

“Do _I_ need to spell it out to _you_?” Lance joked, repeating exactly what Keith had said. Keith’s mouth fell open once again as he was rendered speechless. “That’s why I created the stupid rivalry. I was secretly really jealous of how cool you were.”

“Lance, you need to finish your dinner.”

Lance’s face fell as the both looked down at his plate. Despite Lance thinking he had eaten a lot, the plate was still piled up with food. He reluctantly picked up his cutlery and started to eat again. It was lukewarm by then. It took a long period of time but, eventually, the plate was scraped clean. 

“Lance?”

“Yeah?”

They met eyes, Keith’s almost purple eyes meeting Lance’s soft blue. “Well done for eating your dinner. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

“Yes! Yes, yes, yes!” Lance basically jumped out of his seat, jumping up and down in excitement. Keith rolled his eyes but couldn’t stop himself from smiling like a loved-up teenager. Keith wrapped his arms around his adorable boyfriend. As he was the smaller one, Lance was able to bury his head into Keith’s mullet and breathe in the scent of his shampoo. It smelt so much like Keith. The same guy who was once his rival. The same guy who was helping Lance fight an eating disorder. The same guy who had somehow ended up his boyfriend.

 


End file.
